Heya thomas,
I think i can relate to your thoughts.
I was out to my parents when i was 23. It was an incident, my mum found my diary (not porn, it was back at 90s and you can't download porn from the internet yet!) i save in the computer. there is nothing sexual, but she knew. She asked me, and I told her. then she told my dad.
12 years past, me and my parents are still close. we had our ups and down– we even went through those counseling stuff, though my intention is to get my parents to talk to someone as i think i am pretty fine to accept my identity. we had our rough time, particularly when my mum found naked guys photo in the computer (damn computer!) we had good time, too, when my parents met my ex bf for a dinner before Chinese new year and gave both of pocket money and i felts like the role in Ang Lee's "Double Wedding". We still have our uncertain-- when i ask my parents if one day i decide to have gay marriage would they approve, they are very very hesitated ...
There will never be a best timing to come out-- be financially independent, i honestly think it is crap. you know how parents consider kids are always kids in Chinese society, no matter you are 5 or 50. The only reason for people claiming to get independent first is the come out turn disaster, you can live on your own. I have to say, in my opinion, it is just fully irresponsible. coming out is, unfortunately, an ongoing process to both you and those people around you. as Chinese is a collective society it is even true.
The question you have to ask is probably, are you truly comfortable with your own identify? gay or straight, there are many confusing people out there. If you are happy about yourself, people will be happy for you. The mentality independent, if you gonna ask when is the best time you can come out, it is the day you do not have to live under influence from other people's opinion.
hope this help.
P.
When and how did you know that you were gay? When and how did you come out? What did you have to sacrifice to come out into the world and say: "Yes, I'm gay"?
I first knew I preferred men when my "male" friend squeezed my dick under my pants and I wanted him to hold it forever there when I was 14. I wanna to shout out loud that I'm gay and wanna a boy's hand in the street but some forum says unless you are out of age and financially safe, don't come out yet. Coming from an Asian country with conservative parents, especially in homosexual concerns, I don't dare to tell them yet nor encourage them to have a brighter view at gay people. So if you have come out and been OK with it, share some experience plz! Being 18 and dependent on parents, it's still not the right time to them yet, right?