There exists no such thing as the "file://" protocol. You're just accessing files on your local computer. Using this in a website won't work for anyone but you. (also, if this is strictly for your own viewing you can use relative urls and just open the .html file and it'll work in any browser)

Install some reputable ad blocker and don't download stuff. Remove flash, it's not necessary any more. Nothing that needs to be "secure"!

I thought that the Stewie being gay shtick was funny. Fuck me, eh?