any picture manga or hentai with the hot male dark elf?

today i came online after like 2 months and i saw that i lost half of my bonus points without using them what is the reason?

My wife told me it was about time that I learned to play golf. It’s a game where you chase a little ball all over the country when you are too old to chase women. So, I went to see Mr. Jones and asked him if he would teach me how to play.

He said, “Sure, you’ve got balls don’t you?”
“Yes, but on cold mornings they are hard to find.”
“Bring them to the clubhouse tomorrow and we will tee off.”
“What’s tee off?”
“It’s a golf term and we have to tee off in front of the clubhouse.”
“Not for me,” I said. “You can tee off in front of the clubhouse, but I’ll tee off behind the barn somewhere.”
“No, no, a tee is a little thing about the size of your finger.”
“Yeah, I’ve got one of those.”
“Well, you stick it in the ground and put your ball on top of it.”
“You play golf sitting down? I always thought you stood up and walked around.”
“You do, you’re standing up when you put your ball on the tee.”
Well folks, I thought that was stretching things a bit too far and I said so.
He said, “You’ve got a bag haven’t you?”
“Sure.”
“Your balls are in it, aren’t they?”
“Of course,” I told him.
“Well, can’t you open your bag and take one out?”
“I suppose I could, but I’ll be damned if I am going to.”
“Don’t you have a zipper on your bag?”
“No, I am the old fashioned type.”
“Do you know how to hold your club?”
Well, after 65 years, I should have some sort of an idea and I told him so.
He said, “You take your club in both hands…”
I knew right then he didn’t know what he was talking about.
Then he said, “Swing it over your shoulder…”
That’s not me at all. That’s my brother he’s talking about.
He asked, “How do you hold your club?”
Before I thought about it, I said, “With two fingers.”
He said that wasn’t right.
He got behind me, put two arms around me, and said for me to bend over and he would show me.
Well, he couldn’t catch me there. I didn’t spend four years in the Navy for nothing.
He said, “You hit the ball with your club and it soars and soars…”
I could well imagine that.
“. . and when you’re on the green . . .”
“What’s the green?”
“That’s where the hole is.”
“Sure you’re not color blind?”
“Then you take your putter in your hands…”
“What’s a putter?”
“That’s the smallest club made.”
“That’s what I got, a putter.”
“And with it, you put your ball into the hole.”
I corrected him, “You mean the putter.”
“No, the ball. The hole isn’t big enough for the ball and putter too.”
Well, I’ve seen holes big enough for a horse and wagon.
“Then,” he said, “after you finish with the first hole, you go on to the next 17.”
Well, he certainly wasn’t talking about me. After two holes I’m shot to hell.
“You mean you can’t make 18 holes in one day?”
“Hell no! It takes me 18 days to make one hole!
“Besides, how do I know when I am in the 18th hole?”
“The flag will go up!”

Well, golfing is not for me!

The old GAY farmer was having a pretty bad year. All of his crops had been lost. Fortunately, the peach orchard had done really well.
The only way he was going to make it financially was to cut out the middle man and sell the peaches directly to the consumer. So he loaded his pickup with peaches and headed to town.
Just on the outskirts of town he came to a house. So he took a basket of peaches and went up and knocked on the door.
A gorgeous blond shirtless stud answered the door. In a sexy voice she said, "Hi, what can I do for you?"
Quite shaken, the old farmer muttered, "I have these here really nice peaches for sale". The blond, noticing how shaken he was, decided to play a bit.
He said, "Are those peaches full and firm like these?"
Very shaken, he managed to whisper, "Oh yes, they're really good peaches."
Pushing down on his waistband to show he had on no underwear and outline  his package. He teased, "Would they be succulent and delicious like this?"
The old farmer popped out crying and said, "Oh yes, they're wonderful peaches."
She said, "Well, honey, why on earth are you crying?"
The old farmer whimpered "Mister, the cut worms ruined my tomato crop and the weevils ate all my cotton and now I think you're gonna screw me out of my peaches."

A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, “Listen, I have three guys coming over tonight. I’ve never had three guys at once, and I need something to keep me horny… keep me potent.”
The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label “Viagra Extra Strength” and said, “Here, if you eat this, you’ll go nuts for twelve hours.”
The guy says, “Gimme three boxes.”
The next day the guy walks into the same pharmacy, goes up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants. The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man’s penis is black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places.
The man says, “Gimme a bottle of Ben Gay.”
The pharmacist replies, “Ben Gay? You’re not going to put Ben Gay on that are you?”
The man says, “No, it’s for my arms – the guys didn’t show up.”

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'
Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'
Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".

A Blonde guy goes into a bar.  He sees a friend who invites him over for a drink.  They're chatting away, and the 6 PM news  comes on the bar TV set.  A man is about to jump off a tall building; the police are trying to talk him down, the air is tense …..  The friend says to the Blonde - "I bet you $20 he jumps."  The Blonde says "I don't think he will."  Just then, the man jumps.  The Blonde says "well, I guess I owe you $20."  The friend starts to laugh and says I can't take your money, I saw this on the 5 PM news.  The Blonde says " Oh, I did too.  I just didn't think he'd do it again."

A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

"House," in French, is feminine-"la mansion."

"Pencil," in French, is masculine - "le crayon."

One puzzled student asked, "…What gender is computer?..."

The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary.

So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender, and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun. Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door saying:

"Nerds Not Allowed – Enter At Your Own Risk!"

He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him.
"You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?"

"I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I'm hauling."

"Okay, truck drivers are not nerds," he says and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver is totally shocked.

"Why did you do that?"

"Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don't even need a license."

The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly, he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers.They are all engineers, accountants, and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen!

He can't let them steal his whole load. So, remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop.

"What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season," says the truck driver.
"Well, sure," says the patrolman. "But you can't bait 'em!"

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.'
The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'
The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.'
The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!'
The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,
"Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar."