Funny Gay-Related Quotes
The next time someone asks you, "Hey, howdja get to be a homosexual anyway?" tell them, "Homosexuals are chosen first on talent, then interview… then the swimsuit and evening gown competition pretty much gets rid of the rest of them."
There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats.
War. Rape. Murder. Poverty. Equal rights for gays. Guess which one the Southern Baptist Convention is protesting?
The Value of Families
they say gay marriage is a threat to marriage.
i say it's bullshit.
the threat to marriage is divorce!
Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, "Who'd you call a faggot?"
If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer."
If Michelangelo had been straight, the Sistine Chapel would have been wallpapered.
Jesse Helms and Newt Gingrich were shaking hands congratulating themselves on the introduction of an antigay bill in Congress. If it passes, they won't be able to shake hands, because it will then be illegal for a prick to touch an asshole.
Gays are gay by the will of God. God does not produce faulty parts. God is not Fiat.
It wasnt easy telling my parents Im gay. I told them at Thanksgiving. I said Mom would you please pass the gravy to a homosexual? She passed it to my father. A terrible scene followed.
i don't mind straight people as long as they act gay in public!
printed on a shirt worn by dennis rodman.
Nick: This is for you.
[He hands Monty a bust]
Monty: For good luck?
Nick: Well, you always wanted me to give you head.
~ Nick Stark & Monty Tipton, It's My Party
When a gay man has way too much fashion sense for a single gender, he is a drag queen.
~ Noxeema Jackson, To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar
No wonder we are good dressers. We spent a lot of time in the closet!
What am I part of, Jack? An issue? Don't you get it? Issues are what they use to divide us. Sexual orientation, race, gender… All issues that don't actually pertain to anyone except those being cut out and thrown away by the issue. Does it really matter to some farmer in Kansas whether or not two men get married in Vermont? But see, they need us to choose sides. They create these issues for us to cling to, to grasp at. You know they separate us into these divisions: Black, White, Gay, Straight, Rich, Poor. Blame it Christian, Liberal, Democrat, Conservative. Split. Different. Opposed. How can a cause be just if it puts people against each other?
-- Poster Boy (2004)