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    Wal-Mart Has Everything!

    Jokes & Funny Stuff
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    • T
      TwjT3NEc last edited by

      One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor.'

      'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies.

      'There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what 's wrong and what to do about it.

      It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor.'

      So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

      He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

      Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

      'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.'

      That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

      He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

      Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

      The computer prints the following:

      1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
      2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
      3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
      4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
      5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

      Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.

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      • A
        awesomeness1 last edited by

        Awesome!

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