My Dad Surprised Me Today!
I want to tell you guys something that I did not plan on happening today. I was talking with my Dad about some stuff today and I mentioned something about getting these bumps in my pubic area and under my arms. I said I was going to the doctor next week to get it checked out and asked him if he ever had that same problem. He said yeah, then he said it's probably an infection. He asked me have I had sex with anyone and I said no. Which is true by the way and I asked if you could ever get it from receiving oral sex and he said no. He then asked If I have been having oral sex with women and men I said no but that surprised me as he would asked me that part about having sex with men. He said he needed to know in case so he would be able to tell me what I could do. I still said no and I would honestly tell him if I had but I asked him if he ever messed around with a dude he said no because he said messing around with a dude could give you aids and other stuff which I knew better than to believe because true you can get aids from men but also you could get it from women just as well if you two aren't safe. I don't Know I just got this vibe from him even though we had this conversation over the phone that he wouldn't have a huge problem if I said I will eventually start having sex with guys . He said that if something happens with me no matter what to let him know. I maybe having this conversation with him again and I hope it's in person and I'll make sure to tell him that he could tell me if he fooled around with a dude and It would be just between us. I'm pretty much an open minded person. What do you guys think of this situation? I just felt great because I feel that maybe I could talk to my Dad about anything. I also have to talk to him about the whole getting aid s from guys thing because he obviously has an old school way of thinking.In the middle of the conversation he also said that he better not catch me doing anything with a dude but not in a way that was not to serious but like in a concern way and than he said that If I need to talk to him about anything that I could. I'm also wondering about him saying that me messing would dudes would cause me to get aids. If I said something that would get him thinking like gay sex is safe as long as both guys know how to play safely and that heterosexual couples are just as much in danger of contracting a dangerous deases as homosexual couples if they don't play safe.
Do you guys no what he meant by that?
It seems that your dad definately cares for your health. You started a conversation on sexual health and he probed you in many and some unexpected ways to find out about your current sexual lifestyle and how sexualy active you are. I must say that I was surpised when he asked you if you had sex with men. A typical father probably will not make that question. There are some likely reasons for this, either he is open minded or he suspects that you might be gay (either from gut instinct or other clues). The reason is not important for now. It is delightful that he covered this subject in a caring manner.
Your dad encouraged you to talk to him about anything and I encourage you as well to share your concerns with him. It will bring you closer. You did mention that your dad might have old school thoughts on the gay issue so yes you can enlighten him on how things are today. I believe that the gay community is much more educated about sexually transmitted diseases compared with past and with str8 people. Talk to him as long as you dont treat him as your best buddy telling him details that might put him off. Keep it real and decent.
All the best
soflsmurf last edited by
I am eagerly awaiting the answer to my age question from another post, lol.
The bumps could be a staph infection, or- because of your age could just be the rise of more hair coming in. Hopefully it is the latter. Everybody has staph, it is whether it gets infected or something like that.
About your dad- well, I have a theory that mothers always know- ALWAYS. I have certainly known some dads to know, too. I mean know without telling them, of course.
Perhaps he went through your room and found something questionable?
Perhaps your room is a little questionable for a boy your age (a straight boy, that is…) Typically girl posters on the wall, etc... (Typically being the operative word, lol)
Perhaps long baths may give a clue
Are you more sensitive than you realize? (Note the correct spelling of realize here, from your other post, lol)
Are you feminine and just do not realize it?
I ask these 2 questions due to my own experiences. My mother used to go through my shit, and one time she claimed the cable guy asked her if she had a daughter because of how my room was. I am not feminine, nor was I remotely identifiable to a stranger just from my room at that time (Minus candles and incense). Maybe it was because I didn't have the girl posters? lol who know?
As far as the gay community and being educated…. that is just it... they may be educated, but it does not mean the most obvious common sense precautions are adhered to. In fact on the contrary, there are far too many that simply do not care and will lie to get a piece of ass regardless of the ramifications!
Funny, my first bf said all gay men will ever want is your ass. I have been striving to prove him wrong every day.
juancho last edited by
OP, i believe this is a good thing.
a parent who really cares for his/her offspring would be concerned (just like your dad) and would be able to detect something out of the ordinary (and by ordinary, i meant heterosexuality).
you may have been very careful about not exhibiting stereotypical gay traits but since your father is concerned he has, in his own way, known you deeply by just observing you and looking after you, he has already formed some sort of "idea" of what you might be.
while he may have shown you signs of being slightly misconstruing homosexuality (e.g. the cause of AIDS, etc.), at least he has opened up to you and opened his mind about the possibility that you might be a friend of dorothy or at least a cake boy!
it is very hard for heterosexual males to accept the fact that one of their offsprings might be a homosexual but the fact that he didn't get angry when you asked if he fooled around with a guy (which is, btw, indirectly telling him that you think he might be queer - which a lot of straight guys find offensive) is a good sign. it means he is more open-minded to the issue on hand than most straight guys and this will make it easier for you to open up to him.
i would suggest that you slowly open up to him about your life, passion, experiences (the harmless ones first) because he would appreciate knowing you more and in the process you'll discover a lot about him as well (which makes for a very good male bonding experience which is very hard for straight guys to do).
and when you think it's right or that he can take it already, tell him the truth.
as a caring and loving father, i think he deserves that!
juancho last edited by
oh and, since its already august and your post about the skin bumps was in may, i hope its already gone by now.
otherwise, we're talking either a long-term infection or a tumor/cancer/cyst.
I'm really sorry it took me so long to respond to you. I forgot I posted this. Well first, the infection is gone. My doctor said it was the deoderant I was using. I guess I'm allergic to anti-perspiration and I can't use certain body washes or soaps. I felt blessed that it wasn't anything more serious than an infection. It took about two weeks to clear up. Secondly, I think my Mom does know I mean I'm 24 and have never been out with a girl what does that tell you. Third, nothing else really happened after that conversation with my Dad. You see he's lost a couple of family members in the past months from cancer and he's busy getting himself checked out so we really haven't discussed anything about my sexuality but when the time comes will talk about it again. He's been having the blues lately which is totally understandable. I just hope things get better for him. He really is a great dad. Thank you all once again for all the responses and sorry it took me so long to respond.
All the best, men4life
I'm 24 and have never been out with a girl what does that tell you.
Well, it depends. I didn't have my first real date with anyone until my 30s… I mean, a real date, where more than one person shows up, and you go somewhere, and do something together (even if it's just each other )
You're fortunate. My mom just said something along the lines about me liking it in the "poop chute"
Indeed… Most of the parents doesn't care about the lives of their children after some age.
They just behave as all the parent-job was done, so... No need to be supportive or some sorta of friend.
Hope everything is okay now. And keep us posted.
They both know you're gay, they probably talked about it already.
They seem to take it naturally, just let them know and to another thing!
dropear last edited by
I think your dad is a really nice guy.
quetdi last edited by
congratulations you dad is pretty COOL! :cheers:
ipertatos last edited by
Of course your parents, both, know and they have discussed it! Very nice and very moving… Take care and tell them yourself, it is going to be so relieving!
nice dad man
To be honest its probably just in-grown hairs.
family is all
such a cool dad! i wish my dad has the same reactions or that we can openly talk about these kinda stuffs openly.
my parents are old school and very conservative so the open mindedness is close to a blur.
Happy new year everyone!
It means that you have a pretty cool and understanding Dad. The fact that he is open in his discussion about sex, shows that you really don't need to worry about anything :).