Spanking and Domestic Discipline
-
I thought I would share this becasue it is something that I feel is often mis-represented!
I guess the first thing question is what is domestic discipline?
The answer is actually quite complex and it will differ from relationship to relationship, but I suppose if you were trying to generalise it, we could say
it is a way that the two partners live life, and one of those partners uses discipline as a method to settle arguments or deal with problems. There is
plenty of text on this and using google you will find a whole lot of material.Now I will share my thoughts and life within a domestic disciplinary relationship with spanking:
Number one, the relationship is king, it always comes first, the discipline aspect is an element of the relationship but not the main foundation, and that
is extremely important.Secondly we are a normal couple in every sense, we enjoy each others company, and all the nice things that go with a real relationship. My partner never
demands, orders me around or treats me badly, we love one another. The difference is that he always gets the last say and that is cool with me, because I am narturally quite a submmissive guy and he is dominant, so it works well for us.Thirdly spanking can be very sexy for us and a lot of fun too, and I love those so much, it is so sexy, relaxing and amazingly wonderful.
I just wanted to point out the basics above to illustrate that because we enjoy spanking and employ discipline in our relationship we are in actual fact a normal couple and a very happy couple.
So what about the discipline?
Again you will find this is going to be different for each couple and it will depend a great deal on their thoughts, needs and indeed wants, no couple in any relationship does exactly the same things as a another, if that was the case life would be very dull!
So I will explain how it works with us and I dont feel embaressed by it, infact I embrace it.
So here we go, firstly we use three type of spanking, the first as I have said is fun .. okay lots of fun and the second is used for discipline purposes. I wont go to deep into this, but we have house rules and I have boundaries. The house rules are there to avoid frustration and arguments and my boundaries are in place to help focus me on important goals or challanges and they change, they change because I change, its quite simple. If I break a house rule or cross one of my boundaries then without exception I will receive a discipline spanking, there is never a let off and that in a way comes down to our personalities because if I was let off, it would take away a certain amount of dependability and in a sense I would feel cheated, so that never happens.
If I am to receive a discipline spanking it happens ALWAYS in private and as soon as possible. Again I wont go into too much detail, because reality is that again these type of spankings all differ from relationship to relationship, for us though we sit on the sofa and discuss why I am to be disciplined, what brought it on and how to avoid it in the future. That can take a lot of time, because we always hug and discuss it thoroughly. When that has been done, then its time for my spanking, and being honest at this point I always have a huge erection, which is aslo quite normal
I'll take a shower, and put on sweats and a tee shirt and go to my parter whom has while I was preparing myself placed the straight backed spanking chair in the middle of the room, he will be sitting there waiting and I will approach and stand by his side. He will very briefly and gently explain why I am getting spanked before taking down my sweats and briefs (all my spankings are bare bottomed) and then he will simply guide me over his lap.
He will be very aware of my erection on his thigh, but that doesnt last too long, because a real spanking soon has it disapear and thats what happens I get a really long hard spanking and end up with a very red and hot bottom. Again I am not going to describe in too much detail, anyway I sometimes tear up and sob and now you might be thinking thats plain crazy or maybe abusive. Actually its neither the tears have nothing whatever to do with my bottom, or the slaps of his hand, paddle or hairbrush, rather they are emotional. Putting it simply I need them, I am sure Dr Spock would have a lot of insight to that, but you know what, anayzing emotions is complex and frankly I wouldnt want that ever!
Once its all over … well now that is something extremely private!!!!!
The third type of spanking is difficult to explain because I think the dynamics are unique to each individual, some people call them reiview sessions or maintenance spankings, but I dont quite believe these words are appropriate, they could be used for those purposes but I think personally that brings elements of roleplay into the relationship which is more than cool if thats what you want, but not for us. I just get a monthly spanking out of the blue which is very similar to a discipline one but only involves my partners bare hand on my bottom, the difference with this is, that well, my erection doesnt go away! Anyway an out of the blue spanking brings a lot of spice into play!!!! >:D
So there you have it, some pretty open and private thoughts, not shared before!
-
Even and old totally depraved leatherbear has learned alittle from this post.
-
Na bro you are neither of these, but a cool leatherbear …. yup cool!
That's enough ego massaging from me!
-
Very informative piece, definitely what I have in mind in terms of "domestic spanking", however I do believe in the "maintenance spanking", it should be given regularly but not necessary in a serious/harsh manner as the punishment spanking.
-
I agree with that, I think maintenance spankings or possibly 'review sessions' should be somewhere inbetween a play and a punishment
