First gay crush
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My first post (besides requesting movies) and English is not my native language, so take it easy on me
Until now, I've been hetero on my relationships, although I always had interest on gay sex (my download list may show how interested I am, haha). But never had courage to go out with other men (I'm timid, and to tell the truth never found a man worthy to the risk of exposing my "gay side"). Everything changed two weeks ago, I got back to the gym, and on the second day I found a man which I had a crush. But it was REALLY a crush, I think on him a lot of times per day and I feel a little agitated when we share the same space on the gym.
The problem is, he is timid too. He rarely speaks, so it is hard to approach. Anyway, I noticed he stares at me sometimes (one time I noticed he looking away when I "caught" he staring at me). The only time I could talk with him yet (to share a machine on the gym), his eyes became wide open and his voice almost failed.
Unless my perceptions are VERY wrong, I think he is attracted to me too (or maybe he is just too timid/anxious and curious about me, I really don't know).
Anyway, I would ask for some tips to approach him without making him this nervous, and without showing my true intentions (yes, I'm afraid to talk with him and give out my feelings without noticing, I don't even know if he is gay/bi and this may lead to a embarassing situation) . Any help will be appreciated =].
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compliment him on something, then ask him how he did it (like if he has abs or something) then invite him for coffee.
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compliment him on something, then ask him how he did it (like if he has abs or something) then invite him for coffee.
I will try next time. About abs, I can't determine with the clothes he uses, he is not athletic anyway
It is hard to approach a man which attracts you, haha.
Thanks =].
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agree, but if you don't take the risk, you will never know if it might have been fruitful… or at least, a hot experience.
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Some of the best information you can get about people is from other people. Find out if anyone at that gym communicates with him, even casually, and observe as much information (as in watching who he talks to) as is possible.
Before you try to talk with him directly you should get to know those people first, then your chances of meeting him increase if you already know his acquaintences…finally meeting him through an intermediary is the goal here since being introduced through a mutual acquantance bypasses a lot of the personal safeguards and barriers that people put up with new friends in their lives.... meeting the friend of a friend puts people "at ease" and is much smoother and workable than directly approaching him.
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good points, all.
just one concern. you might also get… burned by someone leaking the news to him and turning him off. i mean, you'll be kind of talking behind his back so it might also backfire.
well, since i met my boyfriend and my dates online, I'm a bit of an anomaly, i guess. that's why I'm a fan of networking sites like this one. :):):)
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Some of the best information you can get about people is from other people. Find out if anyone at that gym communicates with him, even casually, and observe as much information (as in watching who he talks to) as is possible.
Before you try to talk with him directly you should get to know those people first, then your chances of meeting him increase if you already know his acquaintences…finally meeting him through an intermediary is the goal here since being introduced through a mutual acquantance bypasses a lot of the personal safeguards and barriers that people put up with new friends in their lives.... meeting the friend of a friend puts people "at ease" and is much smoother and workable than directly approaching him.
The problem is, I don't see he talking to anyone, lol. I only heard his voice two times, one was when I talked to him, another was when he said goodbye to the gym teacher.
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oooohhh. he might even be the kind of guy who goes there to… enjoy the sights.
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oooohhh. he might even be the kind of guy who goes there to… enjoy the sights.
Maybe ;D.
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The problem is, I don't see he talking to anyone
Depending on how long hes been going there, and how often hes actually there, the fact that he doesnt speak to others may be a sign that he is introverted–someone who keeps to himself and is difficult to open up to others.
An introverted person presents a unique set of challenges, and unless youre the type of person that enjoys puzzles like Sudoku, it may become frustrating. I'm one of those sudoku people, and ive played matchmaker for tons of friends of mine ...its just like putting together a puzzle.
If this person speaks to no one in the gym, then your search for those he is friends with must move outside of the gym as well. The other purpose of going to gyms (social as opposed to physical) has been replicated online....and these social media sites, the popular (and gay) ones where you live, give you two possibilities: he either uses them, or he does not. Finding out which is your next step and like fishing, prolly the longest and most boring step, unless you like fishing...because finding a boyfriend is like fishing and sudoku-- if you like both then the sky's the limit!
And all of this may not catch you that particular guy, but it moves a lot of others in front of your radar screen, you dig?
:love:
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The problem is, I don't see he talking to anyone
Depending on how long hes been going there, and how often hes actually there, the fact that he doesnt speak to others may be a sign that he is introverted–someone who keeps to himself and is difficult to open up to others.
An introverted person presents a unique set of challenges, and unless youre the type of person that enjoys puzzles like Sudoku, it may become frustrating. I'm one of those sudoku people, and ive played matchmaker for tons of friends of mine ...its just like putting together a puzzle.
If this person speaks to no one in the gym, then your search for those he is friends with must move outside of the gym as well. The other purpose of going to gyms (social as opposed to physical) has been replicated online....and these social media sites, the popular (and gay) ones where you live, give you two possibilities: he either uses them, or he does not. Finding out which is your next step and like fishing, prolly the longest and most boring step, unless you like fishing...because finding a boyfriend is like fishing and sudoku-- if you like both then the sky's the limit!
And all of this may not catch you that particular guy, but it moves a lot of others in front of your radar screen, you dig?
:love:
I actually love puzzles. Sudoku, logic puzzles and picross =P. All the mystery surrounding him is one of reasons that I became attracted to him even more. And since I'm timid too, I also see some of myself on him.
And the fact it is hard to reach him makes things even more interesting, I really don't like easy puzzles too ;D
I don't have much patience for fishing. But since the reward here is much more than a simple fish, I think I could be patient and wait for the opportunity.
Thanks for this precious piece of advice. I really liked the puzzle analogy, very clever.
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Having been in such a boat myself, I know that feeling all too well. By the simple fact alone that he's clearly been observing you would suggest to me that there's some sort of attraction to you. Perhaps he's afraid of approaching you for the same reason that you have this little dilemma with approaching him. I know for my days at the gym that I generally tended to keep to myself for fear of creating an unpleasant situation, despite the number of times that I could swear I was being cruised. Perhaps starting with some sort of casual conversation may also be a good place to start to kind of see how things go.
My recommendation would be to start with asking about his workout plan as it were. Playing dumb is often a good way to stir some conversation. Depending on how things go from there would determine what the next step would be. If possible, casually start to turn the conversation from the workout to a more general level, as to get a sense of where his interests are. It is quite likely from the sounds of it that he may either be closeted, or is possibly afraid to make the first advance on anyone for fear that they may be straight.
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Having been in such a boat myself, I know that feeling all too well. By the simple fact alone that he's clearly been observing you would suggest to me that there's some sort of attraction to you. Perhaps he's afraid of approaching you for the same reason that you have this little dilemma with approaching him. I know for my days at the gym that I generally tended to keep to myself for fear of creating an unpleasant situation, despite the number of times that I could swear I was being cruised. Perhaps starting with some sort of casual conversation may also be a good place to start to kind of see how things go.
My recommendation would be to start with asking about his workout plan as it were. Playing dumb is often a good way to stir some conversation. Depending on how things go from there would determine what the next step would be. If possible, casually start to turn the conversation from the workout to a more general level, as to get a sense of where his interests are. It is quite likely from the sounds of it that he may either be closeted, or is possibly afraid to make the first advance on anyone for fear that they may be straight.
Good to see someone which faced the same situation. I will compliment him next time I see him, and I will see if he will extend the conversation. If not, I will try asking about his workout plan as suggested.
Thanks =]
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I would go with MrMazda's suggestion. General chat about something in the news, the weather, price of petrol, sports results etc, can tease out more information about each other without being too blatant, therefore reducing the chance of scaring him off. Soak up any nuggets of information he tells you, read up on it if necessary and bring the subject up the next time. At worst, if it all comes to nothing, you will still have the exciting 'thrill of the chase' experience to look back on.
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So, I complimented him today. But his face looked so gloom and apathetic that I couldn't engage a conversation (that's odd, since he looked happy on the day of equipment sharing, even being that nervous). Maybe he had a bad day, dunno.
Let's see on wednesday, when we meet again ;D
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if he has been staring at you more than once than that'd definitely a sign!, talk to the guy, think of something :p, b creative
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I remember my first and only gay crush. One of my coaches in high school football seemed to like me. One day he was talking to me and he just smiled and stared for a bit. I was always to afraid to try anything, and besides that, he was married. All I can tell you is just get to know him, and don't expect anything. You might end up with a new friend, or even better.
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What happened? ???
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Austin St. John? (The origional Red Ranger lol) he was fine back then x=
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Talk to him about anything. I usually use the lines of "You look so familiar, do I know you from somewhere?" then you take it from there.
Don't build castles in the sky though; unless you are 100 percent sure that he is attracted to you, do not make a move; some guys will feel complimented when you tell them they are hot, some guys will get violent, so be careful. Also, because you are already biased about him and you are infatuated with him you may want him to like you and therefore, you will see things that are not there… don't make assumptions and just take it slow getting to know him first. Start with casual conversation and go from there.. yes, I know you want to rip his clothes off right now and make love to him, but remember this, Rome was not built in one day
