Religion & Clergy (not disrepectful) Story Jokes
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An elderly priest. Father Joseph, is hearing a confession and the penitent says he's committed adultery. The old priest makes an announcement the following Sunday - "it seems everyone in this town is committing adultery. If I hear one more confession about adultery, I'm going to retire." With the priest shortage and all, plus the congregation rather liked Fr. Joe, so they devised a scheme. Instead of saying adultery, they agreed to say "they have fallen." This seems to have satisfied the old man. Eventually, he passes away and they get a new priest, Fr. Albert, who shortly thereafter makes an appointment with the Mayor. "Your honor," say Fr. Albert, " you really must do something about the sidewalks in town, you just wouldn't believe the number of people who come to confession and say they have fallen." The Mayor laughs and explains the code words. Fr. Albert says "I don't know why you're laughing, your wife has fallen three times this week."
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A religious woman travels a lot for her business, mostly she must fly, and it makes her nervous, so she calms herself by reading her Bible. Her seatmate sees this, and chuckles "you don't really believe all that stuff, for example the guy that was swallowed by the whale? How did he live in the whales' belly?" The woman replies, "I don't know, when I get to heaven, I'll ask him." The man responds with a bit of sarcasm "What if he isn't in heaven?" Now the woman laughs and says "Then YOU can ask him!"
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A drunk staggers into a confessional and for a long time says nothing. The priest takes a deep breath and exhales to let the man know he's ready to hear the confession. Nothing. Then the priest coughs. Still nothing. Finally the priest knocks on the wall three times. Finally the drunk says "it's no use knocking buddy, there's no paper in this one either."
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