Various cock jokes (story type)
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Q. What is the difference between a straight rooster and a Gay rooster?
A. In the morning, the straight rooster crows " Cock-a-doodle-do! and the Gay rooster crows "Any-cock-will-do!"
Why E-mail Is Like a Penis
1. Some people have it, some don't.
2. Those who have it would be devastated if it were cut off.
3. It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.
4. Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
5. If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.
6. It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours.
7. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
8. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.
9. It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself, "Why on earth did I do that?"
It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will do the same damn dumb things it did before.***************************
How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
It's not hard.%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Two new young interns are hired in the White House. They are walking down the hall when President Clinton sees them. The President walks up and says, "Gee, I've never come across your faces before."
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A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examining his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."
The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"
The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."
oxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Last week a very important meeting took place among God, the Pope and Moses. They were troubled because the President of the United States was behaving in an inappropriate manner and there were many people who saw nothing wrong in what he had done. They decided that the only course of action left was to create an 11th Commandment to get their message across.
Now, the problem remained exactly how to word this new commandment so that it matched the other commandments in style and holy inspiration. After great meditation and discussion they concluded: "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."
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This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal.
To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his dick. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?" "No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, "Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day.'"
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Story of a Gay Man who just turned 47
When I was 16, I hoped that one day I would have a boyfriend.
When I was 18, I got a boyfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate guy with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate guy, but he was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, he was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a guy with stability.
When I was 25, I found a very stable guy but he was boring. He was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a guy with some excitement.
When I was 28, I found an exciting guy, but I couldn't keep up with him.
He rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. He did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone he met. He made me miserable as often as happy. He was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a guy with some ambition.
When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious guy with his feet planted firmly on the ground and married him. He was so ambitious that he divorced me, took everything I owned, and ran off with my best friend.
I am now 47 and am looking for a guy with a big dick.
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Ted - Did you know condoms had serial numbers?
Ned - No really?
Ted - Guess you never had 'em rolled out far enough!Man finds a magic mirror - hangs it on the back of his door. Says "mirror mirror on the door, Please make my cock touch the floor." And his legs fall off.
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Really Funny !! ;D ;D !!
Thanks
