Twisted Nursery Rhymes…......
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Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.
Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
'Pies, you dumb ass' !!
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.
Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad….....
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car. -
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water,
God knows what they did up there,
But they came down with a daughter
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Fill the halls with gasoline,
tra la lala la lalalala,
Light a match and watch it gleam,
tra la la lala lalalala,
Watch the school burn down to ashes,
tra lala lalala la la la la,
Aren't you glad you played with matches,
tra lala lala la la la la. -
Jack and jill went up the hill
they each had a dollar and a quarter
jill came down with two and a half
you think they went up there for water?
…..................................................mary had a little lamb
the doctor was surprised,
old macdonald had a farm
the doctor nearly died!
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Jack and jill went up the hill
they each had a dollar and a quarter
jill came down with two and a half
you think they went up there for water?
…..................................................mary had a little lamb
the doctor was surprised,
old macdonald had a farm
the doctor nearly died!
..............................this made me really laugh!
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this made me really laugh!
glad i could be of assistance…..
