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    Question and Answer Christmas Jokes

    Jokes & Funny Stuff
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    • leatherbear
      leatherbear last edited by

      Q: What do elves learn in school?

      A: The Elf-abet!

      Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
      A: "I don't like sprouts" !

      Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
      A: Missletoe!

      Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
      A: Frostbite.

      Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
      A: Because he had low elf esteem.

      Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
      A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

      Q: Where do polar bears vote?
      A: The North Poll.

      Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
      A: Ribbon hood.

      Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter ?
      A: Because it's to far to walk.

      Q: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
      A: Forty feet of track - all straight!

      Q: What kind of bird can write?
      A: A PENguin.

      Q: How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct?
      A: On Christmas morning, they give the presents TO the tree.

      Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
      A: Sandy Claus!

      Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
      A: Fleece Navidad!

      Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
      A: North Polish.

      Q: Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
      A: Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

      Q: What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
      A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

      Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
      A: Crisp Cringle.

      Q: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
      A: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.

      Q: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
      A: Okay everyone, sack time!!

      Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
      A: Snowflakes.

      Q: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
      A: A subordinate claus.

      Q: Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
      A: He wanted to sleep like a log.

      Q: Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
      A: Because the angel had said, "No L!"

      Q: What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh, Ho, Ho, Swoosh?
      A: Santa caught in a revolving door!

      Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
      A: Because it " soots " him!

      Q: What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?
      A: Pour Santa flush on him.

      Q: Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
      A: Its true . . . Comet cleans sinks!

      Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
      A: Claustrophobic.

      Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
      A: Because every buck is dear to him.

      Q: How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive" ?
      A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"

      Q: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet of handkerchiefs for Christmas?Q: Olive ?
      A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"

      Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
      A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

      Q: Olive?
      A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"

      Q: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
      A: It was wound up already.

      Q: What's a good holiday tip?
      A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

      ![](https://www.gaytorrent.ru/bitbucket/HOF 3.png)

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      • M
        mgr last edited by

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        • F
          fancydude last edited by

          I don't know where you come up with these long lists of jokes, but they're pretty good.

          And I'll certainly go along with Santa being Polish!  🙂  Bozego Nardozenia!

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