A fundamentalist pastor with strict membership requirements for his congregation
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A fundamentalist pastor with strict membership requirements for his congregation narrowed the list of candidates down to 3 couples. An elderly married couple, a middle aged married couple, and a newlywed couple. "To join my church, you must not have sex for a week," he told them all.
One week later he interviewed the couples. When he asked the elderly couple if they had succeeded in passing the test, the husband said, "Yes indeed we did. Easiest thing we have ever had to do." With that answer they became members in good standing.
The pastor then asked the middle aged couple how they had fared. The husband replied, "It was the hardest week of our married lives, but we did not have sex." They too became members in good standing.
Finally the pastor queried the newlyweds. Nervously the husband said, "Well, we were doing great for the first 6 days, but on the last day I saw my wife bending over to pick up a head of lettuce she dropped and I couldn't stand it anymore and I took her roughly, right then and there."
The pastor's eyes blazed, and damningly he told them "YOU ARE NOT WELCOME IN MY CHURCH."
"Thats okay," the newlywed husband replied, "We aren't welcome in that grocery store anymore either."