An elderly man
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An elderly man thinks his wife is losing her hearing so he calls their doctor. The doctor tells him "We need to figure out how bad her hearing is. Using a normal tone, talk to her at various distances until she can hear you."
That night the man decides to try this. He estimates he is sitting about 30 feet from his wife and asks her, "What's for dinner?"
He hears nothing so he moves a little closer; about 20 feet away. He asks her again, "What's for dinner?" Still nothing.
Finally, he gets right next to her and asks, "What's for dinner?"
She finally hears him and responds "For the third time, chicken!"
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A little elderly lady goes to the doctor because she has been having a problem. She tells him "Doctor, lately I have been farting almost constantly. They don't bother me much because they don't smell or make noise, but it is still annoying. I've farted a hundred times since I got here, I bet you didn't know."
The doctor sends her home with some pills and she returns a week later. Angrily she tells him "Doctor! These pills you gave me have made my gas smell terrible. I don't want to take them anymore!"
The doctor smiles and replies "Great. Now that we have cleared your sinuses we can take care of that hearing problem."