THE INTERGALACTIC SWAP
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Two aliens land their plasmic cosmo craft in Jack and Jill's backyard. They suddenly materialize inside the couple's house and address them: ''We come in peace. We want to find out how you humans reproduce. To make an accurate assessment of your procreation process, we would like to - as your species would say - swap partners."
Being ex-theater majors from a liberal arts college, Jack and Jill agree without hesistation. Jack leads the female alien into one room, while Jill takes the male alien's tenticle and leads him off into another room. Immediately, the male alien starts to strip down to his bare essentials. Jill, seeing the creature's shrunken, pasty, yellow, naked body before her, gasps and says, ''Gee, that's a really teenie weenie."
''Actually, I come in all sizes."
With a wink and a smile, the alien slaps his thighs, and magically, his penis pops out to about one foot in length. Jill, giggling with amazement, exclaims "Wow! That's outrageous. Can you do that with your thickness as well?"
"No problemo," assurres the well-hung alien. At that, he slaps at his ears, and, "boing," his member inflates out to about a good three inches in diameter. "Yippee. Yahoo," blurts out Jill, and proceeds to give Mr. Spaceman a taste of earth-style mating.
After about a three hour romp, Jill and Mr. Spaceman (now in smoking jacket and ascot) exit the bedroom and meet up with the other couple already waiting in the kitchen.
Jack, seeming somewhat dazed gets up and asks Jill, "How did it go in there?''
Jill, still a little woozy herself, smiles a goofy s**t-eating grin and sings, ''That was by far, the most spectacular, unbelievable, eye-poppingest sex I have ever had. No offense. By the way, how'd it go with Ms. Universe over there?"
"Not so well. All she did was slap my ears for an hour and a half."