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    PEOPLE REALLY SAID THESE THINGS IN COURT

    Jokes & Funny Stuff
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      nhalizegt last edited by

      Q: What is your date of birth?
      A: July fifteenth.
      Q: What year?
      A: Every year.

      Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all?
      A: Yes.
      Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
      A: I forget.
      Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

      Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
      A: Oral.

      Q: How old is your son - the one living with you.
      A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
      Q: How long has he lived with you?
      A: Forty-five years.

      Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
      A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
      Q: And why did that upset you?
      A: My name is Susan.

      Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
      A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

      Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
      A: We both do.
      Q: Voodoo?
      A: We do.
      Q: You do?
      A: Yes, voodoo.

      Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

      Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

      Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
      Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
      Q: Did he kill you?
      Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
      Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
      Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
      Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
      A: Yes.
      Q: And what were you doing at that time?

      Q: She had three children, right?
      A: Yes.
      Q: How many were boys?
      A: None.
      Q: Were there any girls?

      Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
      A: Yes.
      Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
      Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
      A: I went to Europe, sir.
      Q: And you took your new wife?

      Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
      A: By death.
      Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

      Q: Can you describe the individual?
      A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
      Q: Was this a male, or a female?

      Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
      A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

      Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
      A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
      Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
      A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
      Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
      A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

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