SIGNS THAT YOU'RE A DRUNK
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– You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
-- You have to hold on to the lawn to keep from falling off the Earth.
-- Your job starts to interfere with your drinking.
-- Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
-- You fall off the floor.
--That damn pink elephant followed you home again.
--You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.
--Your career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts.