Things Men Don't Say
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– Let's watch Lifetime.
-- Sex is overrated.
-- I don't want to go too far on the first date.
-- Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you.
-- Don't we owe your mother a visit?
-- I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down.
-- Dessert goes right to my hips.
-- I hate when I miss Oprah.
-- Does this suit make me look fat?
-- I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.