Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar.
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Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He goes over and asks him what's wrong.
"Well," says Paul, "There's this beautiful girl at work that I really like, but every time I start talking to her, I get an erection, and I have to leave so she doesn't see it."
"Well that's easy to solve," replies Jeff.
"Really?" says Paul, perking up.
"Sure. Just take some duct tape and tape your penis to your leg. It's a bit crude and it'll hurt like mad, but you'll at least be able to talk to her. And I'm sure that once you get to know her, you won't have to worry about it anymore."
"Hey, that just might work! Thanks, you're a real pal!", and they finish the evening, Paul in a much cheerier mood.
A few nights later, Jeff comes into the bar and again sees Paul hunched over a beer. He walks over and takes a seat beside him.
"Well, did you ask her out?"
"Yup." says Paul morosely, barely looking up from his drink.
"And she said yes?"
"Yup."
"So what happened on the date?"
"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "when I'd finally worked up the courage to ask her out, the duct tape worked perfectly. So I figured I should use it again on the date, just in case."
"That's sensible," says Jeff.
"So anyway, I come to her door and I ring the doorbell feeling nervous as all hell. And she answers it in the most incredible dress you ever saw. It was the sexiest thing I've ever seen, the way it wrapped around her body…" says Paul, trailing off into a daydream.
"And what happened then?", prompts Jeff.
Paul sighs and slumps back down to his drink.
"I kicked her in the face."